A dwarf is interviewing with Commander Vimes for a position on the City Watch:

"What's your name lad?"
The dwarf swallowed. This was clearly the bit he'd been dreading. "Littlebottom, sir."
Vimes didn't even look up.

"Ah, yes. It says here. That means you're from the Uberwald mountain area, yes?"
"Why...yes, sir," said Little bottom, mildly surprised. Humans generally couldn't distinguish between dwarf clans....

"Now...it says here your first name is...can't read Fred's handwriting...er...."
There was nothing for it. "Cheery, sir," said Cheery Littlebottom.
"Cheery, eh? Good to see the old naming traditions kept up. Cheery Littlebottom. Fine."

Littlebottom watched carefully. Not the faintest glimmer of amusment had crossed Vimes's face.
"Yes, sir. Cheery Littlebottom," he said. And there still wasn't as much as an extra wrinkle there. "My father was Jolly. Jolly Littlebottom," he added, as one might prod a bad tooth to see when the pain will come.
"Really?"
"And...his father was Beaky Littlebottom."

Not a trace, not a smidgeon of a grin twitched anywhere. Vimes merely pushed the paper aside.

[They conduct the interview. Littlebottom is the only one who applied for the job, so he's hired. Vimes calls in Sergent Detrius (Troll) to show Littlebottom the ropes, and the conversation goes on from there]

"Fine. Well, off you go, Littlebottom. Detrius will look after you."
Littlebottom hesitated. This was uncanny. The man hadn't mentioned axes, or gold. He hadn't even said anything like "You can make it big in the Watch."
Littlebottom felt really unbalanced.

"Er...I did tell you my name, didn't I, sir?"
"Yes. Got it down here," said Vimes. "Cheery Littlebottom, yes?"
"Er...yes. That's right. Well, thank you sir."

Vimes listened to them go down the passage. Then he carefully shut the door and put his coat over his head so that no one would hear him laughing.

"Cheery Littlebottom!"
- Feet of Clay Terry Pratchett

That had me laughing like a loon while I was taking my lunch in my car today. Thankfully, I was in my car. I just LOVE Vimes! He's quickly becoming one of my favorite characters in the Discworld 'verse.
Prince Charming is overrated. I'd rather have Commander Vimes. :P
---

Stayed up for TNG last night, though I have no idea why. The episode was "Lessons", and would have sworn to you that it had another plotline besides the stupid, unrealistic, BORING, throat slicing love story between Picard and that woman who couldn't even act like she was playing the piano.
But it didn't.

In fact, it shocked me at how a)badly written it was, and b)how much of a fan fiction template it took. (hence a) There was no subplot. There was just scene, after scene, after scene, with those two until the "climactic" scene drove by and shot the audience in the forehead with more unrealistic douchery.

Jean Luc Picard is a passionate, optomistic man. That woman was as dull as powder. She sucked all of the passion out of him. It even proved its fan fiction-ness by having them "fall in love" with each other within a matter of four or five days.
I don't even know how he could look at her anyway without being distracted by those hair orbs stuck at the crown of her head. They were big and distracting.

I think what bugged Cecily the most about it was the spouting of musical terminology that made absolutely no sense. Freaking writers! They're not even worthy of being called writers in that episode. So many cliche, and romance novel template defauls.
I poke my eyeballs out with hot forks! [/Rant]

I have attended some dorky things. I have not yet been to a convention, but that is definitely on my list of future dorky things to attend.

I was just saying yesterday how people need to get together and do a Star Trek concert, much like the Star Wars one we went to for my birthday. I would wee with delight!

Today, Cecily just sent me this link HERE. It's an article discussing an actual Trek concert for the fans that would tour the US just like SW and LotR did.
Again, I would wee with delight!

My only beef is, according to this article, they're only discussing doing the themes from the movies, which is all well and good in itself. But I really think it would be a mistake to not include the themes from the TV shows (pretending Enterprise doesn't exist for the moment) seeing as how the franchise originated on TELEVISION in the first place!
Duh!

Either way, I would go to it. They totally should to it!
---

Speaking of Star Trek. "Starship Mine" was on last night. *sniffle* I think that's actually on my TNG Top Ten list.
But I was a good girl! I didn't stay up to watch it. I only watched long enough to see the Data small talk thing (it SLAYS me!) and Picard in his riding...pants. lol Awesome.
---

I started on a new project at work today. Thank heavens! I finished the printing of over 1,000 CD labels for various clients. *falls ovah*

Nothing much else going on actually. I'm writing bits and pieces of my NaNo and am sticking them into the story, hopefully in some sort of order. I'm going to try to get ahead a little bit tonight.

Yeah...that's about it. I may stay up for TNG tonight. We shall see...

*commence "Woo Girl" mode* WOOOOOOOO!! I got the job! WOOOOOOO! They offered it to me right there, on the spot after I did the initial interview, and did some "skill set testing". (Oh, I thought I'd had it then, but apparently, I did well.)

It's full time, NO TEMP AGENCY, with benefits and 401K, and it's administrative. EVERYTHING that I was currently looking for!
WOOOOOOOOO!!

It's an accounting firm, and I'm one of the admins, my initial job being proof reading invoices, documents, and stuff fixing the grammar and spelling before we send them out to the clients.

WOOOOOOOO!!!

In my somewhat low state of mind I was experiencing for obvious reasons after work, I called Becca, went home, made some pop corn and put on The Empire Strikes Back. Back to the comfort movies again.

It was somewhere in the asteroid belt sequence that my phone rang, and I paused the film to answer. I've got an interview on Friday for one of the Admin positions I applied for through Craig's List. The only thing is, I'm not entirely certain as to which one it was.
Anyway, there is still hope. :)

There are a number of reasons why ESB is my favorite Star Wars film. It really makes ANH look - well - boring in comparison, because we're started off with Luke being attacked by a Wampa, and then the battle of Hoth. Harrison Ford is simply at his best in that film as well. I love the humor, and the dynamic between him and Leia, and Chewbacca for that matter.

"The Princess. You have to take care of her."
How awesome is that, really?

And, of course, the connection with Luke and Leia at the end, revealing that perhaps Leia has powers within the Force as well. THAT, my friends, is why I write. Beautiful things like that - those few lines and that moment with the expression on Leia's face - between characters, within universes so vast, is nothing less than a stroke of genius. I actually backed it up so I could watch that scene again, it struck me so hard this time.
"Leia. Hear me."
Awesome.

There is of course, the muppet!Yoda, which I appreciate a lot more than CG!Yoda. I got all excited when he showed up. Yoda is totally real in the original trilogy. They hired that little creature to play him. That's all I'm saying.
"Mine! Or I will help you not!"

Even the scenes with Vader and Luke at the end. I so WISH I could've been a part of the original audience for that, my jaw dropping at the revelation Vader tells Luke. Dad told me about that when he first saw it. It shocked the hell out of everybody.
"The Force is with you, young Skywalker. But you are not a Jedi yet."

The prequels are definitely lacking whatever it is the OT has. I can't put my finger on it, but the feeling I get from those movies is simply not present at all in the prequels. It's sad, but true. It might have something to do with the fact that EVERYTHING is CG in the prequels. Lucas got CG happy once he realized that he could make everything except the actors CG. Oh wait, he even tried that.
---

It's a little disheartening, knowing that I'll be out of a job sooner than I thought. But I'm not despairing over it, or wallowing in my own misery because of it. I know that I'll be okay.

Whatever happens, I'll continue working towards me goal of getting to the point where I won't need a day job at all.

Bugh.

I've just been informed that my last day here is Friday. *sigh* Yes, it was going to happen, but this is a couple weeks sooner than I thought.
Damn.

Spencer seemed relieved that I took it so calmly. If I had burst into tears, and said slopily through them, "But...my birthday is next week!" I don't think he would've been able to handle it.

Well. Technically, I could last until the end of October if I don't find anything right away. I have two more paychecks (for last week and this week) that will come, so if I find something this month, I should be okay.

Let us cross our fingers, shall we?

Applied for several jobs yesterday, and a few more this morning. One of my strategies is to camp out on Craig's List, refresh it every once in a while, and pounce on the new postings. I'm quite certain that I'm the first person to think of this. :P

It's like we (myself and my fellow shafted coworkers) are in some awful, scary monster movie. The scene we're all in right now is the same scene in which the slightly comedic, yet more annoying supporting male character is standing in the middle of a room. The room behind him stretches forever in a pit of blackness, revealing nothing in the background. He stands still, trying to smile, and make light of the situation, as though the writer would never have the nads to actually kill of a character that had more than two lines in this awful story.

Our main characters are on the stair case at the one end of the room. We as the audience, can hear their hushed, horrified voices whispering urgently from off camera to the slightly comedic, yet more annoying supporting male character to follow them, because they should stick together if they're going to get through this. Yet the slightly comedic, yet more annoying supporting male character is hesitant. If he goes upstairs with his unfreakishly tall, better looking friends, they will have no escape route.

These, and other thoughts are going through his head, while the sweat on his face glistens in the single, pale light the director of said film is using in the scene, but the origins of which, he refuses to explain.

Slightly comedic, yet more annoying supporting male character presses his lips together firmly, and shakes his head as he takes a step backwards, into the forbidding darkness of the room.
The whispers become more urgent from our main characters, and they quickly turn into screams of terror as the monster from space, or the ancient depths of a dormant volcano (whatever you prefer) lurches out of the darkness, opens its vast mouth, revealing hundreds of blade-sharp teeth, and envelopes slightly comedic, yet more annoying supporting male character down to his belly button, and chomps down.

Legs wriggling, and muffled screams coming from inside the monster's skull, slightly comedic, yet more annoying supporting male character is dragged into the thick darkness of the room, his taste rather bland, and his fate sealed.

My coworkers and I are the group of horrified, yet glisteningly good-looking group of teenagers being attacked by said monster. Things here are being taken away piece by piece, and moved to the new facility. Pretty soon, there will be nothing left here, and all anyone will hear is the last screaming echoes of the last victim.

That was a bit dramatic, but it's kind of true. The walls are closing in my friends, and the monster is lurking in the shadows, ready to bite my head off.
---

I am in a much better mood this morning. I believe I know why. I'm teaching Relief Society again this week, and yesterday, I read the lesson in the manual that I'm supposed to cover. It's about Joseph Smith himself. Hurrah! I'm so excited I got this one, because the story of Joseph Smith has always meant a lot to me. The lesson basically consists of quotes from the people who knew him, or met him during his lifetime. Some are so brilliant, and passionate, I'm going to have a hard time picking the few that we'll be reading aloud during the lesson.
But yay! I'm excited for this one. :D

Also, attributing to my good mood today is probably the fact that I opened up Warped and tried again yesterday. I took the notes I have from others who've read it, and applied some points to the story. I added more to the first chapter, and continued on with the second. It's incredibly slow work, and the I think the reason I've been so frustrated with getting into this is because I've never gotten this far with anything that I've written before.

Everything I have is still so rough, that I've never had to become too detail oriented. I am, however, at that point now. It's time to nit pick. If it's going to get as good as I want, I'm going to nit pick, and it's going to go slowly.

*takes a deep breath*

I have found something that totally proves Sinbad correct in his one stand up routine where he says that your parents were cool before they had kids. We're the ones who made our parents uncool and insane.

Crazy Things Parents Say.com
Samples:
"It’s too bad you can’t DOWNLOAD good grades and a haircut, eh?"

"You know, this would be a great place to hide a body. If I ever snapped one day and killed one of you, I’d hide the body here.”

“They don’t seem like Heroes to me. They seem kind of like assholes who can’t act.” [In reference to the TV show. *SNORT!!*]

"Sweetheart, you could never disappoint me. Unless you went to jail and didn’t write a book about it. The first one of us to go to jail, HAS to write a book!"

Kid: “How do you get more seedless watermelons, if they don’t have seeds?”
Dad: “They adopt.”

I am DYING here and it's not even 9 in the morning yet! I wish I could remember some of the stuff my parents have said, especially lately. Nothing's coming off of the top of my head though.

Yes, work is slowing down to a mighty crawl, and this is how I've come to entertain myself when there aren't any new job listings I can apply for.

Rolling Stone: Global Superstars Muse Explode in America

Okay. Forgive the Pratchett, but the thing is. The thing is. The thing IS, that from the articles I've read, the impression that I'm personally getting, is that all of the official American music media persons are acting as though Muse has never set foot onto this land before they started their little stint with U2. Makes me a little miffed.

And forgive me Rolling Stone and fans thereof, but the title of the article would read a little misleading to the untrained eyeballs. It just reads weird is all.
Matt looks fantastic in that photo though. Indeed. :D Lighter hair. What is with guys when they get older, and lightening their HAIR? Matt's hardly "old" by any stretch, but I just don't get it. However, it looks good on him...for now.
---

Thanks to chatting with Cecily throughout the day, and reading from Emails From Crazy People, I'm in a little better mood than I was this morning.
I've also applied for more jobs. Huzzah! I guess.

Stuff to do when I get home:
- Practice the piano
- Take control of the explosion that is my bedroom
- Take control of the irrational fear I have of getting into this third draft, and dive into it. Maybe I'll start in the middle! That'll show 'em.

[40] Icons
[25] Top Gear
[15] MUSE
[04] MUSE Desktop Wallpapers

Samples:


( We Are Losing Control )

Aw! Look at who had to go to the Renaissance fair all by his lonesome, just because Dom and Chris didn't want to dress up. The poor thing. Well, it's their loss, I would think.
...Well, it looks like Chris might have been tempted to go, but decided to go to the Prince concert instead. It works either way.



See, I feel that I can freely mock Matt because I still love him to pieces despite his...well - his insanity. And I'd totally go to a renaissance fair with him if he asked me. As long as there was a corn dog stand somewhere, of course.

Normally, I'd blog about my thoughts about today as I've done since I've had this journal. But today will be a little different. I've already posted my thoughts on a more public forum.

Remembrance @ GeekaChicas

Word.

*snort* I know I've been posting a lot about Muse lately. (FOUR MORE DAYS!!) But it got me thinking about what I said about the band photoshoots.

I know that most of my siblings, and myself have always kind of had the desire to do one of those rock band photoshoots, where you can be serious and moody without getting laughed at for the most part. Like U2 on the cover of Joshua Tree.

And like Muse right here:

This is a perfect example of what I'm talking about. Although in this particular one it looks as though Matt is growing out of Dom's shoulder, but we're not going to be nitpicky.

Well, I remember a couple Thanksgivings ago a few of my siblings and I attempted mock rock band pictures, with amazingly goofy results.

This first one is my personal favorite:

That would be me, Evan, Cecily, and I believe Mom is unaware of what is going on. But it almost works, no? Maybe for a Weird Al Yankovic album, but it almost works.

Here are a couple of other attempts:


They're kind of blurry because of the camera settings, but in the first one, I think we're all to blame for that. Especially Sean, he looks rather...sneaky. It may be worthy of Bare Naked Ladies, however. In the second one, I'd say we were at least trying...except for Evan of course. LOL

I think this should be turned into a national holiday or something. "Rock Band Photo Call Day" or something.

[ETA] Okay, so Cecily just reminded me of a few other attempts we had at doing a rock band album booklet cover thingy. These three actually could possibly work:


All of these were taken over a year or so ago on the Oregon coast. The first one is Cecily and Sean, and that would be Evan in a very artsy shot in the second one. I love the third one because it really is PERFECT! I even look like I'm a little on drugs, so it fits! lol

Title: Cadbury [Part 2]
Universe: Doctor Who
Pairing: 10.5/Rose
Setting: The parallel universe; the Tyler house; after "Journey's End"
[See Part 1]
As requested by soloreader18.

Oh, it's lame! It's as fan girly as I shall EVER get with a pairing that is not of my own creation. Enjoy...if you really want to. lol

* * * *
( Is that a smile? )

Well, the entire purpose of this was to keep me busy, so it definitely fulfilled its task. :P

Some Doctor Who fan fic, fresh out of my brain, as requested by soloreader18.

Title: Cadbury [Part I]
Pairing: 10.5/Rose
Setting: Parallel universe, the Tyler house, takes place after "Journey's End".

This is just a bit of my own interpretation of how things would have gone down between 10.5 and Rose at first. I know this isn't exactly what you suggested, Emily, but we're going to get there, I promise. :D

After some thought, I just don't think Rose would have been as accepting of 10.5 right off the bat, as the rest of us probably would be...

* * * *
( There are such things as happy endings. )

Alrighty. I've been writing deprived over the weekend, and I'm bored at work. The former I shall explain in a full post.

As a result of those things, however, I would like to extend my writing skills as they are to anyone out there who would like a bit of fun fan fic. :D

Please Request Your Desired Fan Fic here!

- It'd be better if it was in a universe I am already familiar with. (Sorry Buffy fans. We'll get there eventually. lol I know. I'm lame.)
- And I don't do any slash or sex based stories as most of you already know.

Please comment with your requests! Seriously, I'd even be willing to make it soap opera-ish or completely comedic, whatever floats your boat.

Band Post!
OO! OO! OO! New Muse photoshoot in London!

Fwah! Crikey!

( +4 )

I think I may have found the new subject for a new header. Heeee! I miss making my own headers anyway. It's been a little while.
[See Gallery]

I've come to realize something interesting since I've had longer hair. It's now just past my shoulders, shapeless, and straight. It looks okay when I wear it down, and I'm getting used to it the more I do so.

One thing I've realized though, is that guys notice me more when my hair is down as opposed to wearing it up, or having it cut short. Like, yesterday morning, I was sitting in my car at a red light on my way to work. The sun was just coming up, and was shining through my side windows. And I was wearing my hair down.

A guy standing at the corner, waiting to cross the street - he was younger, possibly my age, maybe younger than that - took a glance at me, then he thoroughly looked. I'm rarely checked out, so I usually notice when it's happening, which also means that I've noticed that I tend to get noticed when I'm wearing my hair down.

It's the same idea around why we wear makeup at all. Yes, sometimes it is to make us as women feel better about stepping outside the house - I know I feel a little more confident going out when I'm quite sure that the circles under my eyes are properly concealed.

I just looked up some facts about the evolution of makeup, and there's one certain thing about it. It's main purpose throughout history (aside from perhaps the Egyptian period) was concealment. Women would try to look pale, as it was a sign of wealth. (That simply amuses the hell out of me because now we're all trying to be toasty.) It was also used to make an ill person appear healthy to the public at large. That, of course, was when everyone was ill from one epidemic or another.

There was always something to be hidden. However, originally, and this is my point, back in the Egyptian times, women would darken their eyes, and lashes, and men would respond to it. In a word, it made them more noticeable to the male eye. That's why prostitutes were so apt to wear it as well. It's kind of harsh, but true.

( Further analysis and burlap... )

This is not what I originally intended to write, but oh well. And this may not all be entirely accurate (The history stuff is though! I just looked it up!) but it is only my personal opinion.

The sheet creases on my arms have finally faded. I'm only hoping that the ones on my face are gone as well. I woke up late this morning, and had to run around to get ready. Once I got my eyeballs in, I noticed this long, deep crease right down the side of my face. It started at my forehead, went over my left eye, and down my cheek.
Hopefully, it's not there anymore.
That's not what I wanted to talk about though! This is what I want to talk about for the moment:

One thing that I love about the boys on Top Gear, is that they drive like anyone else drives - with road rage. lol "Fine! Just come out right in front of me. Oh, you're welcome!" I think it's more hysterical when it's done in an English accent.

However, I do have a bit of a beef with them, and technically, it's not their fault...kind of. Normally, they test out the latest addition to the Mercedes, BMW, or Audi line ups. There's a Volkswagen, or sometimes even a Ford thrown in there as well.

When the boys test out a car, they really test it out. They take it out hard on turns, challenging the suspension, handling, steering, and so on. That's all well and good, because people like to have a car that performs well.

My problem is, that for the most part, people who do drive the BMW, Mercedes, and Audis...don't really know how to drive the machine they've got. I'm not saying that anyone who owns those cars should start driving like bats. I'm simply saying that anyone who owns a car like that should freaking drive it!

On my morning drive to work, I'm always overtaking those BMWs, Audis...sometimes a Lexus here and there because they're just put-put-puttering along in their posh rides.

My car is a 2008 Dodge Avenger:
2.4 liter V6
189 BHP
0-60MPH in around 7.0 seconds
Automatic transmission
Front wheel drive
[I knew most of that stuff, I'm proud to say. I had to look up the horse power and the start time. lol]

Well, last week, my little car overtook a Corvette because I was getting tired of being stuck behind it. That should never happen.
Slow people in quality machines like that simply should not happen. Unfortunately however, it is a fact of life.

As for my TARDIS :) it does have low horse power, but it's gives off a good kick when you want speed. It has a smaller turning radius than the Toyota Camry my brother now has to drive, and it's really got some agility on the road. It is also, quite comfortable. It looks like a beast, but only on the outside. And one of my favorite things about it is that it is definitely not a girly car. :D

I love driving it. ("It is so choice.") My car is one of the few places I can be myself, and just enjoy, and I just really like to drive. That's why I've wanted to go on a road trip in it for a while now, but I haven't had the chance.

My only complaint is that it didn't come in a manual transmission, which usually makes me enjoy driving more. In the front, the ceiling is also quite low because of how the car is shaped. I've whacked my head a couple of times in getting out of it. Jeremy would hate that.

Basically, my point is that people with big, expensive, and fast cars should take the wheel and drive them, becuse the rest of us want to get out from behind you!

Cecily, we totally should go to the aquarium next weekend! I want a road trip!

Dear Richard Hammond,

Now, I'm only saying this because I care, Richard: Cut. Your. Hair. PLEASE! And just stoppit with the blond streaks! Unless you want to kill me, that is.

If your hair isn't cut to a normal length where I can see your ears, and maybe your neck by the next season of Top Gear, I'm not sure what I'll do.
Maybe something drastic.

Love Always,

Laura

Poo! I have some TG icons now, but they're not uploaded yet.

Good morning, and happy Monday everyone. Good weekend?

Dear Richard Hammond,

Hm. I simply have to say that I think you are the most adorable, hilarious, well dressed, sexy, British car guy to ever have walked the Earth! Yea verily, even when you're wearing cycling shorts.
*tackles!*

I'm being completely serious, Richard. When a segment of Top Gear consists of only James and Jeremy doing something, it's really not the same. It's like they're missing a circut, and had to bypass to compensate.
Forgive the Star Trek reference, but you see what I'm getting at.

I love that you're not ashamed to giggle incessantly, or to curse in long strung out sentences where all we hear as the aundience is one long BEEEEEP! I find it hysterical. Also when you're voice goes all high and squeaky when you're amused by something, or when you're irritated. *giggles*

Though you are slightly out of your mind with recklessness and so forth, I think it's part of your charm right along with your goofiness. Even though you do make me nervous to the point that I'm very sensitive about anything coming in contact with your head. I can only imagine how your wife feels.

But thank you Richard, for being as delightful, delicious, and delovely as you are, while also being a sort of barrier for us against Clarkson at times.

Much Love,
Laura
---

Seriously, look at this adorable man:



I'm kind of irked that I couldn't find a good one of him smiling fully, because he's got the cutest, most dreamy smile. These will have to suffice for now.
( +3 )

I need icons.
Very "Doctor"ish, wouldn't you say? In fact, I saw some pictures of him compared to those of David Tennant. The only real difference between the two of them is, well, Richard is only 5'7". All that thrill seeking has stunted his growth.

And right now he's got his hair pretty long and shaggy, and I want to SHOOT the moron who lightened the color. The length I don't mind, the color is sinful on him.

I have other things to discuss, but that will have to be for a later post. At first, I didn't mean to post pictures, but what are you gonna do?